Final submission to Fiction Workshop 1 although I changed the title of my submission to 'Siquijor'. 'Round Trip' is the original title anyways. Starting from the original Billie Jean story and morphed into an entirely different story altogether, i therefore christen myself the mighty morphin' story maker - haha ang lame!
To be brutally frank I am not fully satisfied with my recent body of work, in terms of theme and especially my writing style. I often complain that I was a much better writer years ago. Still, for what it's worth, I was finally disciplined - more or less - into not just writing, but trying to understand how the different aspects of a story work. This is a rough draft of what I intend to write and work on in the future, I am always happy to say that everything is a work in progress. :D )
“Where are the witches and aswang on this island?” Myra asked, once again, of the lone waitress in the Garden Plaza Inn. It was her third night, alone, and she preferred talking to someone than holing up in her room. She was the inn’s sole occupant. The inn was more of an apartment with a few air-conditioned rooms turned out for guests. Restless ones like her fought off boredom with a few drinks at the beer garden below the apartments.
Lena, the young waitress, smiled and shook her head. Lena must be used to so many nosy and pointless questions from tourists, she realized.
“We only have gayuma here,” Lena giggled. Myra laughed with her. She knew that after a day or two, Lena would open up and confess that an ermitanyo lived high up in the mountains, and that yes, aswang and mambabarang lived on the island.
Still, Myra enjoyed the predictability of their exchange. If Lena remembered her, she didn’t let on.
“Maybe she really doesn’t remember me anymore. It was a year ago. Anyway, I’m ten pounds heavier and I have a few grey hairs now,” Myra mused, a little ruefully, to herself.
She remembered that Rey was waiting for her call. He was furious when she told him she was leaving for Siquijor, but there was little he could do to change her mind.
“I’m afraid she’ll have a nervous breakdown if I didn’t let her go,” she imagined her mother saying to him. Myra knew the two talked about her behind her back - her mother liked him and sought his opinion on things. Perhaps, after talking to her mother, Rey reluctantly conceded that maybe it was for the best that she went to Siquijor.
She picked up her phone and dialed his number. He answered after several rings.
“Sorry, I was in the bathroom,” he said. His tone was gentle and conciliatory. She imagined him leaning forward to turn down the volume on the CD player sitting on his desk.
“It’s alright, I just wanted to check on you, that’s all. How’s work?” She coughed. Her voice was a little husky after the cigarette she just smoked. She was relieved Rey did not notice, or if he did, he did not comment about it.
Myra heard papers rustling. “Swamped, as usual. My wonderful boss keeps giving me work to do just before I’m ready to go home - all urgent pleadings, too! I just got home, in fact. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m trying to study, if that makes you feel better,” she growled teasingly.
“That’s the spirit!” He said enthusiastically. “You’re coming back tomorrow, right? I could pick you up at the airport.”
She hesitated before answering. “Oh, I might have to delay my flight a bit. I think I want to go around the island some more. I’ll stay just a little longer, maybe two or three more days.”
The rustling stopped. “Myra, you don’t have much time left for review. It’s June already and you should be -”
She sighed. “I know. It’s just that I’ve been studying nonstop since the results came out. A few days away from it won’t hurt. There’s just something that I need to take care of, and then I’ll come home as soon as I can.” Myra said firmly. Rey dropped the subject.
The conversation shifted to a more familiar terrain - speculating about who would be the Bar examiners for her batch, gossiping about their former classmates and making jokes about unfinished readings. By the time she hung up the phone, the tension between them had dissipated and the mood was a little lighter.
Still, Rey’s words rankled her.
She asked Lena to bring her another beer and an ashtray. As soon as Lena reappeared and set down her order, Myra resumed their conversation.
“I found something on the beach. To whom should I give it?” She said lightly. Myra opened her bag and took out a small velvet pouch. She took out a ring and handed it to Lena. The ring was made of gold, with a square-cut ruby in the center.
Lena’s easy smile faded. Myra was suddenly afraid of the slight, young woman.
“I told you to put it back where you found it. It belongs to no one living or dead; the sea has claimed it for herself. Why did you bring it to Manila?” She nearly shouted, her voice suddenly sharp and clear.
“Wait - you remember me?” Myra said, surprised.
“Of course I do. This is a small island. You were with your friends here last year. You came here looking for aswang and gayuma thinking it’s a game. I’ve lived here all my life and I have seen disturbing things you cannot begin to imagine. There are those who stay for a few days and never leave. Over time, it seems that the island erases their memories. It’s unnatural.”
Myra was silent. She studied Lena’s face closely. Lena was genuinely upset. She wasn’t making it up. A cold, dull feeling swept over Myra.
“Our elders tell us that the sea is very playful and treacherous. She tempts outsiders with beautiful objects, and plays with their minds. Tell me, did you put this on?” Lena asked her warily.
“Yes, I - I tried it - just once. It fit perfectly. But I have never - ” Myra nearly knocked over her glass of beer, and droplets sputtered on the tablecloth. She massaged her forehead with the other head. She looked at Lena, who shook her head helplessly. Lena silently collected the empty beer bottle in front of her and left her. The string of multi-colored lights around the trees in the garden blinked ominously.
Myra closed her eyes, trying to blot out the images - laughing with Gina and Debbie and making plans for the future after the Bar, arguing with Rey before they left because he didn’t want her to “tempt fate” by having an early celebration.
“It’s a bad idea. You girls should be starting the review as soon as you can. Sometimes I don’t understand why you go along with their crazy ideas. You don’t even know anyone there. People will think you’re a group of girls looking for a ‘good time.’ I’m sure the white guys will have a field day with you.” He said sourly.
“For your information, it’s as much my idea as it is theirs. Why don’t you join us kasi? We’d love to have you with us and scare away the big bad white men who’ll try to hit on us,” Myra answered teasingly.
“I don’t have the time or money to burn like you girls. You know that. Just don’t blame me if something bad happens to you.” Rey muttered. Myra rolled her eyes.
Debbie and Gina laughed when Myra told them how annoyed Rey was they were going.
“He’s such a worrywart,” Debbie rolled her eyes. “We’re not some ditzy party girls gone wild. We’re lawyers-in-the-making-and-for-the-taking, for crying out loud. And Myra, you’re a Bar bet, too!”
“Yeah, you were such a nerd in law school. You and Rey both!” Gina said gleefully, crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out at Myra.
“He is, but I’m not! Do I look like a nerd?” Myra giggled.
Debbie shrugged. “Besides, when will we have time to do this? Right after the Bar, we’ll be too busy job hunting and then we’ll be sucked into the toxic firm life. No more time for misadventures.”
They chose Siquijor because of the myths and rumors about witchcraft and monsters that shrouded the island in mystery. They were looking for adventure, hoping to meet a real ermitanyo or possibly encounter an aswang. Debbie’s helper who was from Dumaguete had nothing but stories to tell about how dangerous and terrifying Siquijor was.
There was a woman who suffered a curse from a mambabarang, and people said she literally turned into a living corpse - maggots ate away at her body for three years until she died and was spared of any more suffering. There were akit stories as well - men and women who are thoroughly enchanted by the island that they are unable to leave it. Some claimed that most of the locals practiced witchcraft and kulam, and it was fatal for anyone to cross them. The more Debbie relayed her helper’s fantastic tales, the more intrigued Myra and Gina were.
As soon as they graduated, they hopped on a plane to Dumaguete and stayed for a few hours in the quaint university town before going by ferry to Larena City in Siquijor.
What a beautiful place the island turned out to be. Their tour guide proudly told them about Siquijor’s history - the “Island of Fire” as it was once called by the conquistadors because of the swarm of fireflies on the island. It was still largely untouched by the rampant commercialization that corrupted other coastal regions, and its inhabitants enjoyed the same way of life they were accustomed to. The island was sparsely populated and remained largely unchanged, save for a cluster of foreigners who decided to stay in the island for good. The sea found its way to the old churches, whose tiles were made of shipyard lumber and sea bricks.
The expats they met adopted the ways of the islanders, relishing their privacy and isolation and the pristine, white sand beaches they visited were too tranquil for three laughing young women.
It was at the Salagdoong beach where Myra found the ring. Debbie and Gina had gone up the tiny cliff that jutted out over the water, taking pictures of the breathtaking view. Myra yelled at them to take her picture. She waded into the water and stepped on a small metallic object hidden among the crushed corals and seashells. She picked it up, wetting her clothes.
“Check it out!” she shouted, and held up the ring. Debbie and Gina quickly ran down to rejoin her.
“It looks real. How many carats, I wonder.” Myra said. She put it on. It fit her ring finger perfectly.
“Myra!” Debbie shrieked.
“What’s gotten into you? Take it off! Hay naku, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s bad manners to wear somebody else’s ring? For all we know, that ring belongs to a dead woman.” Gina said crossly.
“I just wanted to try it on,” Myra replied in a wounded tone. She twisted the band around her finger and removed it.
“I know it’s a lovely ring, but it’s a little creepy, Myra. Why don’t you just put it back?” Debbie suggested anxiously.
Gina nodded in agreement. “She’s right. What is a ruby ring doing on a tiny isolated beach? I don’t see anyone else here besides us and a few locals. My hairs are standing on end! Do what Debbie says. Can’t afford to have bad karma now.”
“Let’s just give the ring to the proper authorities. Who knows, someone might be looking for it right now,” Myra insisted, ignoring their protests.
The jovial mood that marked their Siquijor adventure was slightly subdued on the ride back to the Garden Plaza Inn in Larena city.
In the vehicle, they spent a good half hour arguing about what to do with the ring.
“Under the law, you’re required to bring it to the municipality yada yada yada.” Gina grumbled.
“Well, it’s too late to take it to the barangay now. It’s early evening already. Let’s just drop it off at the Larena police station tomorrow if we have time and tell them we found it in Salagdoong.” Myra replied, irritably.
“Or why don’t you leave it with the waitress?” Gina suggested and beckoned the waitress to come over.
Before Myra could protest, the young woman named Lena was already at their table.
“We found a ring at Salagdoong beach this afternoon, but I don’t think we have time to take it to the barangay there. We’re going back to Manila tomorrow, you see. Can you keep it in the meantime and just contact the people in Salagdoong for us?” Debbie asked, ignoring the dirty look Myra shot her.
Lena shook her head.
“I can’t keep it for you. It will bring me misfortune if I do.”
“What do you mean?” Debbie asked, now thoroughly alarmed.
“Just put it back where you found it.” She answered and quickly left their table.
Myra laughed at the fearful expression on Debbie’s face. “The Siquijor stories have gone to your head. She’s just afraid of being accused of stealing. Pleas, let’s stop talking about it already. The ring will just spoil our vacation. I’ll take care of it tomorrow on our way to the airport.”
They overslept the next morning and in their rush, Myra forgot to return the ring anyway.
Back home, she tried not to think about what Gina said. The thought of a dead person wearing the ring was unsettling. She tried to shut out images of a young woman, perhaps not much older than herself, floating in the sea. She consoled herself by imagining that the poor woman must have dropped it into the water and had no way of getting it back.
The vacation was, as they envisioned, was a temporary escape before the drudgery of review. As soon as they returned, they had voluminous readings and long study hours to contend with. The girls went their separate ways, promising to reunite once the exams were over.
Rey and Myra had enrolled in a review center together for the daily lectures and spent the rest of their time studying separately, only meeting for dinner on weekends. People always warned them about “heightened emotional states” during Bar review, which proved to be make or break for most couples out of law school. They needed to minimize distractions, and neither wanted to get into fights because of unfinished readings.
While Myra excelled in law school compared to Rey or her best friends, the enormous pressure was starting to wear her down. Everyone was expecting her not only to pass, but also to top the examinations. Everyone - from obscure distant relatives she barely knew to her former professors in law school. Rey, on the other hand, was driven to be the ‘dark horse’ of their batch, hoping to make it to the Top Ten.
“How are you getting along in Poli?” He asked. “Did you get the sample Q&A I emailed you? Rumors are going around that there’ll be a lot of questions in election law this year.”
“I’m screwed! I always fall asleep trying to understand it. It’s the next best thing to a sleeping pill, if you ask me.” Myra joked.
“Force yourself. Start tonight. We only have two weeks left, then it’ll be -”
“The Bar.” Myra said in a mock serious voice. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten... though my latest batch of nightmares would have me believe otherwise. By the way, a friend of a friend passed on some reviewers and lecture notes by Aruahe today. Just pick them up at my house and photocopy them if you like. Anyway, I’m exhausted already. I’ve been studying the whole day and I want to wrap it up. I’ll check out the Q&A you emailed me, if I still have some energy left. If I fall asleep, well, there’s always tomorrow.”
“Don’t try, just do it.” Rey said, a note of exasperation creeping into his voice.
“You forget, Rey, that I graduated with honors. Of course I know my election law, I was just teasing you!” Myra said it lightly, but her voice betrayed a hint of impatience. Bragging about her grades was uncharacteristic of her, but she wanted to make a point.
“Well, if you’re just studying to pass the Bar, then that’s well and good. It just worries me that you don’t seem to be trying hard enough to make it to the Top Ten. Wasting precious time in Siquijor --” Rey answered defensively.
“I’m glad we went to Siquijor - memories of our adventure are keeping my sanity intact. Otherwise, the review will just drive me nuts. At this point, I just want to get it over with and pass. If by some stroke of luck I top the bar or something, then that’s a bonus.” Myra sighed.
Hours of studying and lectures defined the next few months. The days and nights blended into each other until it was difficult to keep track of time. September came. Suddenly there wasn’t enough time, and Myra found herself in a long queue with fellow Bar aspirants outside De La Salle, mumbling to herself and trying to recall all that she studied. The month-long battery of exams was physically, mentally and emotionally draining, but she barely had time to rest before starting work. Myra was one of the select few invited to work with Licauco, the top law firm in the country. She rationalized that Siquijor was, indeed, an early reward for her efforts. As Debbie and Gina correctly predicted, after the exams there would only be work, work and more work waiting for them.
More than the hefty signing bonus and the salary, Myra enjoyed the perks of working with the country’s top legal minds. She enjoyed it so much that she sometimes forgot she was still underbar and waiting for the results. Certainly the partners and associates didn’t treat her that way and already saw her as an equal.
Rey, on the other hand, was employed in a medium sized law firm in Ortigas. He vacillated between eagerness and envy whenever she told him about working in Licauco. Eventually they came to an agreement that after a year or two in his office, he would apply in Licauco and join her there.
“I wish things came so easily to me the way they do to you,” Rey sighed enviously.
“I earned it. I worked my butt off in law school,” Myra protested.
“So did I.” Rey replied stubbornly.
When the rumors gave way to more reliable news from friends who were working in the Supreme Court, she and Rey went on leave from work. They initially planned to hold a vigil outside the Supreme Court, but they later decided to wait for the news on TV with Myra’s mother at home.
They covered their eyes gamely while her mother shouted and squealed while the names were being flashed on the screen.
“Congratulations, Atty. Rey Santos!” her mother shouted with delight.
Rey whooped jubilantly and kissed Myra, who was crying and laughing at the same time. Not long after, his cell phone beeped continuously with the barrage of messages and calls from his family and friends.
“It’s too bad I didn’t make it to the Top Ten, but anyway, I’m happy to pass. I’ll just live vicariously off your fame and fortune,” he joked.
“Your turn!” Her heart pounded in anticipation.
Rey joined her mother in waiting for Myra’s name. He cheered when a familiar name flashed on the screen - a classmate of theirs, one of his brods, a friend from the province.
Myra felt Rey grip her hand tightly. Her eyes were still closed. After an awkward silence, her mother said she couldn’t find her name.
“I must have made a mistake, the TV flashed the names so fast,” her mother said apologetically.
Myra shook her head. She opened her eyes. The prolonged darkness made the ceiling light harsh and glaring to her. She fought back tears. She knew her name wasn’t on the list. Her phone was silent. It was impossible that no one would congratulate her if she passed. No one wanted to tell her the bad news, not even Debbie or Gina.
All those months of intense studying went to nothing. She did not want to face anyone - not her colleagues, not her mother, not her friends, not even Rey. She was the first and only one in their office who did not pass the Bar. Unlike other Bar bets who simply failed to live up to exceedingly high expectations, she did not even make enough to pass. She did not know how to explain it, even to herself.
She forced Rey to go out with his friends, while she locked herself up in her room. He and her mother knocked at the door repeatedly but she pretended to be asleep. She muffled her incessant sobbing with her pillow, letting the cool dark night wash over her. After a while, the room grew quiet at last, and Myra gave in to the exhaustion. She slept for more than twelve hours.
When she awoke, her mother had prepared lunch for her and acted as though nothing happened. After a day of staring into space and ignoring the food in front of her, Myra wrote and sent her resignation letter to the office with a heavy heart. She was too ashamed to deliver the letter herself and face them. One of the partners called her after a few days to say they were sorry she was leaving and wished her luck on her future endeavors. Thankfully, she managed to thank him before crying.
Sympathetic relatives and friends told her they were shocked that she didn’t pass. It was impossible, they cried indignantly. Most of them assured her that perhaps she was just unlucky that year, and surely she would pass on retake, and maybe even top the examinations.
“God definitely has better plans for you,” Debbie said, when they talked on the telephone.
Myra listened to the outpouring of sympathy from well-meaning friends but her mind was on other things. She was already going through the motions of review, but she had no idea where to begin picking up the pieces.
Rey wanted to thoroughly review and assess what went wrong with her overall performance, but Myra refused. He wanted her to recall her answers to each question to pinpoint where she made mistakes, but Myra was adamant that she answered most, if not all the questions correctly.
“If that’s true, then you should have been on that list.” Rey’s insistence and her refusal sparked heated arguments between them, and Rey told her she was too emotional.
“It was different when we did it in law school. Those were just exams, Rey. We’re talking about my life here,” Myra explained, close to tears. In the end, Rey stopped insisting but made it a point to check on her progress when they met on weekends. Despite his busy work schedule, he found time in between the demanding firm life and her.
She had a few months left until September.
There were days she only slept an hour or two. Sometimes, the numbing exhaustion made her angry and question why God had done this to her. She had difficulty talking about why she failed - she herself did not know how on earth it happened. She wasn’t just any examinee, she was among the top five in her batch and she was a Bar bet.
Thoughts of Siquijor returned and gnawed at her. Could she be a victim of a cosmic joke? People reverted to varying degrees of primitive belief come the Bar examinations. Atheists found God; people prayed to ten different divinities for luck, and examinees generally avoided causing trouble or ill will to other people out of fear of inviting bad karma. How difficult was it to believe that she may have caused her own bad luck by taking a ring that did not belong to her?
The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was.
She took out the ring from its hiding place and studied it closely. The golden band lost its luster being hidden away in her closet and shone dully.
“If I had just listened to them, then none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have failed the Bar.” She said to herself.
Early in June, she asked her mother for money to cover her plane fare and pocket money. Her mother refused several times, but Myra kept asking her every day until she relented. She knew in the end, her mother could not refuse her.
“Why don’t you wait til after the bar, maybe go on a holiday weekend together with the girls?” Her mother diplomatically suggested.
“They have work, Mom. I’d rather go by myself,” Myra insisted.
“Why do you need to go? Why now? Can’t you wait ‘til after! What if you fail again!” her mother cried, wringing her hands in frustration. Myra winced, but she held her ground.
“I just need to do this now. I just need to go for a few days and then I’ll be okay. I need to go. I have to get away from the pressure. Please.” Myra said with a startling urgency.
Her mother resignedly took out her checkbook and wrote out an amount to cover her plane fare and pocket expenses.
She left for Siquijor shortly after. Alone at last on the island, she felt at peace. She missed the tranquility of the island, of being just another traveler. People didn’t know her; she was just another girl from Manila to them. She relished the anonymity.
She was back in Larena. She spent the first few days of her stay just walking around, visiting the small shops that clustered around the city center. The locals waved cheerfully at her wherever she went and she smiled back.
“Contrary to people’s impressions of Siquijor, it’s not a terrifying place at all,” she said to herself and laughed at how she and the girls believed they were going to find an aswang or mangkukulam walking around in Larena.
She hired a private vehicle to take her around the island. She revisited the places she, Debbie and Gina loved. She returned to the convent in Lazi, and stopped by the San Isidro church that she loved. They spent hours gossiping and dreaming right at the very spot where she stood. She touched the sea and coral bricks and remembered how they made plans about putting up their own law office in five years. Debbie joked about finding The One first before starting on her five-year plan with them. They talked about love and relationships, and Gina joked that on so many levels, Myra was the only one among them with a bright and certain future ahead. She smiled at the recollection.
The driver offered to take a picture of her. She smiled and said she didn’t bring a camera. She would commit these images to her memory, she promised him, and the driver laughed.
She told him to take her to the Salagdoong beach shortly after.
Some of the locals at the beach told her she looked familiar to them, was she the young lawyer with her friends who went away before the Bar last year? She shook her head, smiled and said it wasn’t her.
The place was as beautiful as she had left it. She went up the small rocky cliff overlooking the water. The waves were gentle that day, and lapped at the rocky shore.
She was certain that the ring changed her future somehow, and forced her on a path she was not meant for. She opened her bag and took out the ring. All she had to do was put it back in the water, and then her life would go back to the way it was. It was that simple. She would pass the bar and she would become a lawyer just like she had always wanted.
She turned the ring over and over in her hand. She could throw it into the sea, and then forget. She closed her eyes and struggled to compose herself.
“Just put it back. Just put it back and things will go back to the way they should,” she told herself but she felt paralyzed.
Her hand closed over the ring even tighter.
“What if I return this ring, come home and still fail the Bar? I don’t think I can go through it a third time. I can’t. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to fail again.” She said to herself and began to cry.
At that moment, her phone rang. It was Rey and he was anxious.
“You haven’t called or texted in the last two days. Why are you still there? Your mom is worried sick about you. We thought something happened to you.”
“I’m fine.” She replied, her voice quavering.
Before Rey could respond, she continued. “Do you remember the ring I picked up on Salagdoong beach last year? I was supposed to return it before we went home. Anyway, I’m here now so I’m going to do just that. I feel kind of guilty, you know? It’s been a year. I should have done it sooner… You know what? I’m so happy here, I’m having such a lovely time. I wish you were here to see how beautiful it is,” she said wistfully.
Rey barely hid the anger and impatience in his voice. “You came all the way to Siquijor because of some ridiculous superstition? Oh God, I can’t believe this! Why didn’t I see it coming? Myra, you haven’t been yourself in a very long time. I know it hasn’t been easy for you. But to do this now, it’s just -- crazy and it’s irresponsible. Stop it. Stop making excuses. You can’t run away from this anymore. Do what you’re supposed to do and come home.”
“I should have passed. I should have had the life that I worked for. You make it sound so easy, like everything is a matter of will. There are things outside of your control, outside of my control. You don’t have to go through hell to do this again, but I have to --” she said defiantly, choking on her words.
“No, it is that easy. You keep making it more complicated than it is. All you have to do is let it go and forgive yourself.” Rey said, cutting her off.
He repeated it gently. “Just forgive yourself and let it go. You did your best. You know you did. Just come home and pick up where you left off. You’ll make it this time, I know it.”
Myra hung up the phone.
Gingerly she made her way down to the beach from the cliff. She waded into the water. There was nothing left for her to do in Siquijor.
She opened her hand and gently released the ring back into the sea.
Lena, the young waitress, smiled and shook her head. Lena must be used to so many nosy and pointless questions from tourists, she realized.
“We only have gayuma here,” Lena giggled. Myra laughed with her. She knew that after a day or two, Lena would open up and confess that an ermitanyo lived high up in the mountains, and that yes, aswang and mambabarang lived on the island.
Still, Myra enjoyed the predictability of their exchange. If Lena remembered her, she didn’t let on.
“Maybe she really doesn’t remember me anymore. It was a year ago. Anyway, I’m ten pounds heavier and I have a few grey hairs now,” Myra mused, a little ruefully, to herself.
She remembered that Rey was waiting for her call. He was furious when she told him she was leaving for Siquijor, but there was little he could do to change her mind.
“I’m afraid she’ll have a nervous breakdown if I didn’t let her go,” she imagined her mother saying to him. Myra knew the two talked about her behind her back - her mother liked him and sought his opinion on things. Perhaps, after talking to her mother, Rey reluctantly conceded that maybe it was for the best that she went to Siquijor.
She picked up her phone and dialed his number. He answered after several rings.
“Sorry, I was in the bathroom,” he said. His tone was gentle and conciliatory. She imagined him leaning forward to turn down the volume on the CD player sitting on his desk.
“It’s alright, I just wanted to check on you, that’s all. How’s work?” She coughed. Her voice was a little husky after the cigarette she just smoked. She was relieved Rey did not notice, or if he did, he did not comment about it.
Myra heard papers rustling. “Swamped, as usual. My wonderful boss keeps giving me work to do just before I’m ready to go home - all urgent pleadings, too! I just got home, in fact. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m trying to study, if that makes you feel better,” she growled teasingly.
“That’s the spirit!” He said enthusiastically. “You’re coming back tomorrow, right? I could pick you up at the airport.”
She hesitated before answering. “Oh, I might have to delay my flight a bit. I think I want to go around the island some more. I’ll stay just a little longer, maybe two or three more days.”
The rustling stopped. “Myra, you don’t have much time left for review. It’s June already and you should be -”
She sighed. “I know. It’s just that I’ve been studying nonstop since the results came out. A few days away from it won’t hurt. There’s just something that I need to take care of, and then I’ll come home as soon as I can.” Myra said firmly. Rey dropped the subject.
The conversation shifted to a more familiar terrain - speculating about who would be the Bar examiners for her batch, gossiping about their former classmates and making jokes about unfinished readings. By the time she hung up the phone, the tension between them had dissipated and the mood was a little lighter.
Still, Rey’s words rankled her.
She asked Lena to bring her another beer and an ashtray. As soon as Lena reappeared and set down her order, Myra resumed their conversation.
“I found something on the beach. To whom should I give it?” She said lightly. Myra opened her bag and took out a small velvet pouch. She took out a ring and handed it to Lena. The ring was made of gold, with a square-cut ruby in the center.
Lena’s easy smile faded. Myra was suddenly afraid of the slight, young woman.
“I told you to put it back where you found it. It belongs to no one living or dead; the sea has claimed it for herself. Why did you bring it to Manila?” She nearly shouted, her voice suddenly sharp and clear.
“Wait - you remember me?” Myra said, surprised.
“Of course I do. This is a small island. You were with your friends here last year. You came here looking for aswang and gayuma thinking it’s a game. I’ve lived here all my life and I have seen disturbing things you cannot begin to imagine. There are those who stay for a few days and never leave. Over time, it seems that the island erases their memories. It’s unnatural.”
Myra was silent. She studied Lena’s face closely. Lena was genuinely upset. She wasn’t making it up. A cold, dull feeling swept over Myra.
“Our elders tell us that the sea is very playful and treacherous. She tempts outsiders with beautiful objects, and plays with their minds. Tell me, did you put this on?” Lena asked her warily.
“Yes, I - I tried it - just once. It fit perfectly. But I have never - ” Myra nearly knocked over her glass of beer, and droplets sputtered on the tablecloth. She massaged her forehead with the other head. She looked at Lena, who shook her head helplessly. Lena silently collected the empty beer bottle in front of her and left her. The string of multi-colored lights around the trees in the garden blinked ominously.
Myra closed her eyes, trying to blot out the images - laughing with Gina and Debbie and making plans for the future after the Bar, arguing with Rey before they left because he didn’t want her to “tempt fate” by having an early celebration.
“It’s a bad idea. You girls should be starting the review as soon as you can. Sometimes I don’t understand why you go along with their crazy ideas. You don’t even know anyone there. People will think you’re a group of girls looking for a ‘good time.’ I’m sure the white guys will have a field day with you.” He said sourly.
“For your information, it’s as much my idea as it is theirs. Why don’t you join us kasi? We’d love to have you with us and scare away the big bad white men who’ll try to hit on us,” Myra answered teasingly.
“I don’t have the time or money to burn like you girls. You know that. Just don’t blame me if something bad happens to you.” Rey muttered. Myra rolled her eyes.
Debbie and Gina laughed when Myra told them how annoyed Rey was they were going.
“He’s such a worrywart,” Debbie rolled her eyes. “We’re not some ditzy party girls gone wild. We’re lawyers-in-the-making-and-for-the-taking, for crying out loud. And Myra, you’re a Bar bet, too!”
“Yeah, you were such a nerd in law school. You and Rey both!” Gina said gleefully, crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out at Myra.
“He is, but I’m not! Do I look like a nerd?” Myra giggled.
Debbie shrugged. “Besides, when will we have time to do this? Right after the Bar, we’ll be too busy job hunting and then we’ll be sucked into the toxic firm life. No more time for misadventures.”
They chose Siquijor because of the myths and rumors about witchcraft and monsters that shrouded the island in mystery. They were looking for adventure, hoping to meet a real ermitanyo or possibly encounter an aswang. Debbie’s helper who was from Dumaguete had nothing but stories to tell about how dangerous and terrifying Siquijor was.
There was a woman who suffered a curse from a mambabarang, and people said she literally turned into a living corpse - maggots ate away at her body for three years until she died and was spared of any more suffering. There were akit stories as well - men and women who are thoroughly enchanted by the island that they are unable to leave it. Some claimed that most of the locals practiced witchcraft and kulam, and it was fatal for anyone to cross them. The more Debbie relayed her helper’s fantastic tales, the more intrigued Myra and Gina were.
As soon as they graduated, they hopped on a plane to Dumaguete and stayed for a few hours in the quaint university town before going by ferry to Larena City in Siquijor.
What a beautiful place the island turned out to be. Their tour guide proudly told them about Siquijor’s history - the “Island of Fire” as it was once called by the conquistadors because of the swarm of fireflies on the island. It was still largely untouched by the rampant commercialization that corrupted other coastal regions, and its inhabitants enjoyed the same way of life they were accustomed to. The island was sparsely populated and remained largely unchanged, save for a cluster of foreigners who decided to stay in the island for good. The sea found its way to the old churches, whose tiles were made of shipyard lumber and sea bricks.
The expats they met adopted the ways of the islanders, relishing their privacy and isolation and the pristine, white sand beaches they visited were too tranquil for three laughing young women.
It was at the Salagdoong beach where Myra found the ring. Debbie and Gina had gone up the tiny cliff that jutted out over the water, taking pictures of the breathtaking view. Myra yelled at them to take her picture. She waded into the water and stepped on a small metallic object hidden among the crushed corals and seashells. She picked it up, wetting her clothes.
“Check it out!” she shouted, and held up the ring. Debbie and Gina quickly ran down to rejoin her.
“It looks real. How many carats, I wonder.” Myra said. She put it on. It fit her ring finger perfectly.
“Myra!” Debbie shrieked.
“What’s gotten into you? Take it off! Hay naku, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s bad manners to wear somebody else’s ring? For all we know, that ring belongs to a dead woman.” Gina said crossly.
“I just wanted to try it on,” Myra replied in a wounded tone. She twisted the band around her finger and removed it.
“I know it’s a lovely ring, but it’s a little creepy, Myra. Why don’t you just put it back?” Debbie suggested anxiously.
Gina nodded in agreement. “She’s right. What is a ruby ring doing on a tiny isolated beach? I don’t see anyone else here besides us and a few locals. My hairs are standing on end! Do what Debbie says. Can’t afford to have bad karma now.”
“Let’s just give the ring to the proper authorities. Who knows, someone might be looking for it right now,” Myra insisted, ignoring their protests.
The jovial mood that marked their Siquijor adventure was slightly subdued on the ride back to the Garden Plaza Inn in Larena city.
In the vehicle, they spent a good half hour arguing about what to do with the ring.
“Under the law, you’re required to bring it to the municipality yada yada yada.” Gina grumbled.
“Well, it’s too late to take it to the barangay now. It’s early evening already. Let’s just drop it off at the Larena police station tomorrow if we have time and tell them we found it in Salagdoong.” Myra replied, irritably.
“Or why don’t you leave it with the waitress?” Gina suggested and beckoned the waitress to come over.
Before Myra could protest, the young woman named Lena was already at their table.
“We found a ring at Salagdoong beach this afternoon, but I don’t think we have time to take it to the barangay there. We’re going back to Manila tomorrow, you see. Can you keep it in the meantime and just contact the people in Salagdoong for us?” Debbie asked, ignoring the dirty look Myra shot her.
Lena shook her head.
“I can’t keep it for you. It will bring me misfortune if I do.”
“What do you mean?” Debbie asked, now thoroughly alarmed.
“Just put it back where you found it.” She answered and quickly left their table.
Myra laughed at the fearful expression on Debbie’s face. “The Siquijor stories have gone to your head. She’s just afraid of being accused of stealing. Pleas, let’s stop talking about it already. The ring will just spoil our vacation. I’ll take care of it tomorrow on our way to the airport.”
They overslept the next morning and in their rush, Myra forgot to return the ring anyway.
Back home, she tried not to think about what Gina said. The thought of a dead person wearing the ring was unsettling. She tried to shut out images of a young woman, perhaps not much older than herself, floating in the sea. She consoled herself by imagining that the poor woman must have dropped it into the water and had no way of getting it back.
The vacation was, as they envisioned, was a temporary escape before the drudgery of review. As soon as they returned, they had voluminous readings and long study hours to contend with. The girls went their separate ways, promising to reunite once the exams were over.
Rey and Myra had enrolled in a review center together for the daily lectures and spent the rest of their time studying separately, only meeting for dinner on weekends. People always warned them about “heightened emotional states” during Bar review, which proved to be make or break for most couples out of law school. They needed to minimize distractions, and neither wanted to get into fights because of unfinished readings.
While Myra excelled in law school compared to Rey or her best friends, the enormous pressure was starting to wear her down. Everyone was expecting her not only to pass, but also to top the examinations. Everyone - from obscure distant relatives she barely knew to her former professors in law school. Rey, on the other hand, was driven to be the ‘dark horse’ of their batch, hoping to make it to the Top Ten.
“How are you getting along in Poli?” He asked. “Did you get the sample Q&A I emailed you? Rumors are going around that there’ll be a lot of questions in election law this year.”
“I’m screwed! I always fall asleep trying to understand it. It’s the next best thing to a sleeping pill, if you ask me.” Myra joked.
“Force yourself. Start tonight. We only have two weeks left, then it’ll be -”
“The Bar.” Myra said in a mock serious voice. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten... though my latest batch of nightmares would have me believe otherwise. By the way, a friend of a friend passed on some reviewers and lecture notes by Aruahe today. Just pick them up at my house and photocopy them if you like. Anyway, I’m exhausted already. I’ve been studying the whole day and I want to wrap it up. I’ll check out the Q&A you emailed me, if I still have some energy left. If I fall asleep, well, there’s always tomorrow.”
“Don’t try, just do it.” Rey said, a note of exasperation creeping into his voice.
“You forget, Rey, that I graduated with honors. Of course I know my election law, I was just teasing you!” Myra said it lightly, but her voice betrayed a hint of impatience. Bragging about her grades was uncharacteristic of her, but she wanted to make a point.
“Well, if you’re just studying to pass the Bar, then that’s well and good. It just worries me that you don’t seem to be trying hard enough to make it to the Top Ten. Wasting precious time in Siquijor --” Rey answered defensively.
“I’m glad we went to Siquijor - memories of our adventure are keeping my sanity intact. Otherwise, the review will just drive me nuts. At this point, I just want to get it over with and pass. If by some stroke of luck I top the bar or something, then that’s a bonus.” Myra sighed.
Hours of studying and lectures defined the next few months. The days and nights blended into each other until it was difficult to keep track of time. September came. Suddenly there wasn’t enough time, and Myra found herself in a long queue with fellow Bar aspirants outside De La Salle, mumbling to herself and trying to recall all that she studied. The month-long battery of exams was physically, mentally and emotionally draining, but she barely had time to rest before starting work. Myra was one of the select few invited to work with Licauco, the top law firm in the country. She rationalized that Siquijor was, indeed, an early reward for her efforts. As Debbie and Gina correctly predicted, after the exams there would only be work, work and more work waiting for them.
More than the hefty signing bonus and the salary, Myra enjoyed the perks of working with the country’s top legal minds. She enjoyed it so much that she sometimes forgot she was still underbar and waiting for the results. Certainly the partners and associates didn’t treat her that way and already saw her as an equal.
Rey, on the other hand, was employed in a medium sized law firm in Ortigas. He vacillated between eagerness and envy whenever she told him about working in Licauco. Eventually they came to an agreement that after a year or two in his office, he would apply in Licauco and join her there.
“I wish things came so easily to me the way they do to you,” Rey sighed enviously.
“I earned it. I worked my butt off in law school,” Myra protested.
“So did I.” Rey replied stubbornly.
When the rumors gave way to more reliable news from friends who were working in the Supreme Court, she and Rey went on leave from work. They initially planned to hold a vigil outside the Supreme Court, but they later decided to wait for the news on TV with Myra’s mother at home.
They covered their eyes gamely while her mother shouted and squealed while the names were being flashed on the screen.
“Congratulations, Atty. Rey Santos!” her mother shouted with delight.
Rey whooped jubilantly and kissed Myra, who was crying and laughing at the same time. Not long after, his cell phone beeped continuously with the barrage of messages and calls from his family and friends.
“It’s too bad I didn’t make it to the Top Ten, but anyway, I’m happy to pass. I’ll just live vicariously off your fame and fortune,” he joked.
“Your turn!” Her heart pounded in anticipation.
Rey joined her mother in waiting for Myra’s name. He cheered when a familiar name flashed on the screen - a classmate of theirs, one of his brods, a friend from the province.
Myra felt Rey grip her hand tightly. Her eyes were still closed. After an awkward silence, her mother said she couldn’t find her name.
“I must have made a mistake, the TV flashed the names so fast,” her mother said apologetically.
Myra shook her head. She opened her eyes. The prolonged darkness made the ceiling light harsh and glaring to her. She fought back tears. She knew her name wasn’t on the list. Her phone was silent. It was impossible that no one would congratulate her if she passed. No one wanted to tell her the bad news, not even Debbie or Gina.
All those months of intense studying went to nothing. She did not want to face anyone - not her colleagues, not her mother, not her friends, not even Rey. She was the first and only one in their office who did not pass the Bar. Unlike other Bar bets who simply failed to live up to exceedingly high expectations, she did not even make enough to pass. She did not know how to explain it, even to herself.
She forced Rey to go out with his friends, while she locked herself up in her room. He and her mother knocked at the door repeatedly but she pretended to be asleep. She muffled her incessant sobbing with her pillow, letting the cool dark night wash over her. After a while, the room grew quiet at last, and Myra gave in to the exhaustion. She slept for more than twelve hours.
When she awoke, her mother had prepared lunch for her and acted as though nothing happened. After a day of staring into space and ignoring the food in front of her, Myra wrote and sent her resignation letter to the office with a heavy heart. She was too ashamed to deliver the letter herself and face them. One of the partners called her after a few days to say they were sorry she was leaving and wished her luck on her future endeavors. Thankfully, she managed to thank him before crying.
Sympathetic relatives and friends told her they were shocked that she didn’t pass. It was impossible, they cried indignantly. Most of them assured her that perhaps she was just unlucky that year, and surely she would pass on retake, and maybe even top the examinations.
“God definitely has better plans for you,” Debbie said, when they talked on the telephone.
Myra listened to the outpouring of sympathy from well-meaning friends but her mind was on other things. She was already going through the motions of review, but she had no idea where to begin picking up the pieces.
Rey wanted to thoroughly review and assess what went wrong with her overall performance, but Myra refused. He wanted her to recall her answers to each question to pinpoint where she made mistakes, but Myra was adamant that she answered most, if not all the questions correctly.
“If that’s true, then you should have been on that list.” Rey’s insistence and her refusal sparked heated arguments between them, and Rey told her she was too emotional.
“It was different when we did it in law school. Those were just exams, Rey. We’re talking about my life here,” Myra explained, close to tears. In the end, Rey stopped insisting but made it a point to check on her progress when they met on weekends. Despite his busy work schedule, he found time in between the demanding firm life and her.
She had a few months left until September.
There were days she only slept an hour or two. Sometimes, the numbing exhaustion made her angry and question why God had done this to her. She had difficulty talking about why she failed - she herself did not know how on earth it happened. She wasn’t just any examinee, she was among the top five in her batch and she was a Bar bet.
Thoughts of Siquijor returned and gnawed at her. Could she be a victim of a cosmic joke? People reverted to varying degrees of primitive belief come the Bar examinations. Atheists found God; people prayed to ten different divinities for luck, and examinees generally avoided causing trouble or ill will to other people out of fear of inviting bad karma. How difficult was it to believe that she may have caused her own bad luck by taking a ring that did not belong to her?
The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was.
She took out the ring from its hiding place and studied it closely. The golden band lost its luster being hidden away in her closet and shone dully.
“If I had just listened to them, then none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have failed the Bar.” She said to herself.
Early in June, she asked her mother for money to cover her plane fare and pocket money. Her mother refused several times, but Myra kept asking her every day until she relented. She knew in the end, her mother could not refuse her.
“Why don’t you wait til after the bar, maybe go on a holiday weekend together with the girls?” Her mother diplomatically suggested.
“They have work, Mom. I’d rather go by myself,” Myra insisted.
“Why do you need to go? Why now? Can’t you wait ‘til after! What if you fail again!” her mother cried, wringing her hands in frustration. Myra winced, but she held her ground.
“I just need to do this now. I just need to go for a few days and then I’ll be okay. I need to go. I have to get away from the pressure. Please.” Myra said with a startling urgency.
Her mother resignedly took out her checkbook and wrote out an amount to cover her plane fare and pocket expenses.
She left for Siquijor shortly after. Alone at last on the island, she felt at peace. She missed the tranquility of the island, of being just another traveler. People didn’t know her; she was just another girl from Manila to them. She relished the anonymity.
She was back in Larena. She spent the first few days of her stay just walking around, visiting the small shops that clustered around the city center. The locals waved cheerfully at her wherever she went and she smiled back.
“Contrary to people’s impressions of Siquijor, it’s not a terrifying place at all,” she said to herself and laughed at how she and the girls believed they were going to find an aswang or mangkukulam walking around in Larena.
She hired a private vehicle to take her around the island. She revisited the places she, Debbie and Gina loved. She returned to the convent in Lazi, and stopped by the San Isidro church that she loved. They spent hours gossiping and dreaming right at the very spot where she stood. She touched the sea and coral bricks and remembered how they made plans about putting up their own law office in five years. Debbie joked about finding The One first before starting on her five-year plan with them. They talked about love and relationships, and Gina joked that on so many levels, Myra was the only one among them with a bright and certain future ahead. She smiled at the recollection.
The driver offered to take a picture of her. She smiled and said she didn’t bring a camera. She would commit these images to her memory, she promised him, and the driver laughed.
She told him to take her to the Salagdoong beach shortly after.
Some of the locals at the beach told her she looked familiar to them, was she the young lawyer with her friends who went away before the Bar last year? She shook her head, smiled and said it wasn’t her.
The place was as beautiful as she had left it. She went up the small rocky cliff overlooking the water. The waves were gentle that day, and lapped at the rocky shore.
She was certain that the ring changed her future somehow, and forced her on a path she was not meant for. She opened her bag and took out the ring. All she had to do was put it back in the water, and then her life would go back to the way it was. It was that simple. She would pass the bar and she would become a lawyer just like she had always wanted.
She turned the ring over and over in her hand. She could throw it into the sea, and then forget. She closed her eyes and struggled to compose herself.
“Just put it back. Just put it back and things will go back to the way they should,” she told herself but she felt paralyzed.
Her hand closed over the ring even tighter.
“What if I return this ring, come home and still fail the Bar? I don’t think I can go through it a third time. I can’t. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to fail again.” She said to herself and began to cry.
At that moment, her phone rang. It was Rey and he was anxious.
“You haven’t called or texted in the last two days. Why are you still there? Your mom is worried sick about you. We thought something happened to you.”
“I’m fine.” She replied, her voice quavering.
Before Rey could respond, she continued. “Do you remember the ring I picked up on Salagdoong beach last year? I was supposed to return it before we went home. Anyway, I’m here now so I’m going to do just that. I feel kind of guilty, you know? It’s been a year. I should have done it sooner… You know what? I’m so happy here, I’m having such a lovely time. I wish you were here to see how beautiful it is,” she said wistfully.
Rey barely hid the anger and impatience in his voice. “You came all the way to Siquijor because of some ridiculous superstition? Oh God, I can’t believe this! Why didn’t I see it coming? Myra, you haven’t been yourself in a very long time. I know it hasn’t been easy for you. But to do this now, it’s just -- crazy and it’s irresponsible. Stop it. Stop making excuses. You can’t run away from this anymore. Do what you’re supposed to do and come home.”
“I should have passed. I should have had the life that I worked for. You make it sound so easy, like everything is a matter of will. There are things outside of your control, outside of my control. You don’t have to go through hell to do this again, but I have to --” she said defiantly, choking on her words.
“No, it is that easy. You keep making it more complicated than it is. All you have to do is let it go and forgive yourself.” Rey said, cutting her off.
He repeated it gently. “Just forgive yourself and let it go. You did your best. You know you did. Just come home and pick up where you left off. You’ll make it this time, I know it.”
Myra hung up the phone.
Gingerly she made her way down to the beach from the cliff. She waded into the water. There was nothing left for her to do in Siquijor.
She opened her hand and gently released the ring back into the sea.
